Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Beginning to process...

My heart feels like it has room to breathe these last few days. Our time in Rwanda keeps popping into my head like little vignettes or snapshots. I miss Rwanda. I miss the beautiful people there. I miss the sights and smells (well maybe except for sector :)). I am realizing that my heart is completely taken by my Rwandan son and thus it is taken with Rwanda. I am also realizing all that God accomplished in my heart over the course of the journey. I would walk the road of the last two years a hundred more times if He asked me to. I trust Him in a way I never have before. I have found Him to be so much bigger in the depths where my feet can't reach the bottom. And yet, I am brought to my knees at the realization that He is not bigger, I am just smaller. I, maybe for the first time in my walk with Him, have a clear picture of myself. The deep has made me awaken to my smallness, my utter dependence on Him for every breath. It is a beautiful thing to realize all that you are not and all that He is. And He is breathtaking.

Holding Jeb for the first time at Muhima Hospital in Kigali.